RIP Derrill Bodley

We've just learned that one of our music professors from UOP, Derrill Bodley, was killed in a motorcycle crash a few days ago, just as we were celebrating the arrival of our daughter.

Story, via the Sacramento Bee: http://www.sacbee.com/content/news/story/13611544p-14453447c.html

Dr. Bodley's story was both monstrously saddening and hugely empowering. He rose like a phoenix after his daughter's death on 9/11/2001.

He will be missed.

info copied from UOP's website:

Memorial Service for Derrill Bodley

The University community is invited to attend a memorial service for longtime professor and alumnus Derrill G. Bodley. Dr. Bodley, who passed away last week in a motorcycle accident, taught in Pacific's Conservatory of Music from 1986 to 2000. The service will be held on Friday, September 30 at 1:30 pm in Morris Chapel.

Memorial Contributions can be made in his name to the Flight 93 Memorial Project (http://www.honorflight93.org/), September 11 Families for Peaceful Tomorrows (http://www.peacefultomorrows.org/), J.Russell Bodley Scholarship (http://www.pacific.edu/giving), or the Deora Bodley Scholarship Fund, Los Rios Foundation, Sacramento City College, 3835 Freeport Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95822.

whoa

Hosie just fit into her pre-pregnancy jeans. After ten days.

Note: barefoot, with baby, in kitchen. Hmmm.

One week old

Well, we did it - we managed to keep a tiny human being alive for a whole week. (With some solid help from our friends at the NICU, of course.)

The week has been quite an experience. As Hosanna said to me yesterday, we've been happier and sadder than we ever have been before, and in such a small space of time.

For the most part Aria is sleeping a lot. She wakes up two or three times during the night to eat, and seems to prefer to do her heaviest sleeping in the morning. She's growing steadily; after one week, she's already put on six ounces over her birth weight (after losing an ounce or so in her first couple of days in the NICU).

We had our first challenging experience a couple nights ago. Hosanna ate some food for dinner that gave Aria a painfully upset tummy. Apparently she doesn't like seitan too much. She was awake all night long and cried a lot. That was the hardest its been for us since we brought her home. We had absolutely no idea what to do. We just had to wait it out.

It's so nice for me to be home right now. In addition to getting to know Aria and learning how to be a parent, I'm getting some long-left-undone chores finished. I'm a real homebody these days, so for me, two solid weeks at home is a real kick-ass time.

Hosanna is recovering pretty well. Especially today she began looking and feeling much more perky. The breastfeeding is starting to get easier, and her body is well on its way to healing.



Aria seems to like sleeping in the bed with us, but it's a toss-up for us whether we actually sleep better that way, or whether it's better with her in her crib. It's so nice how she just fits in our little nook in the bed, but then we don't sleep quite as well since we're afraid we will roll over on her or something (we haven't, yet). When she's in her crib, she isn't as content, so she wakes up more often.

Neither of us can believe it's already been a week.

A note about her name

We didn't choose the name Aria for anyone or anything in particular - it's just a name that we found and liked. In Italian, it means "air," which in turn means a type of song in classical music. In opera, an aria is a solo number that is usually performed by one of the lead characters. It's pronounced "AH-ree-ah."

Kathryn is Hosanna's mom's name. We had decided that whether it was a girl or boy we wanted to honor someone in the family, and Kathy a) is definitely someone worth honoring, and b) has a name that goes really well with Aria.

The birth story, part II

Flashing back to the night of the 15th...

Once we got back from our initial meeting with the midwife, we went home to wait it out. We got burritos from Robertito's and watched the A's game. They were beating the Red Sox - final score 6-3. Given my early penchant for narrating the games to Péle (our nickname for Aria in utero, since she kicked like a soccer player), this seemed like a good sign.

Hosanna's contractions were getting stronger as the night went on. By about 8:00 p.m. they were strong enough that she couldn't speak through them anymore. By the time we went in to the birth center, about 11:30 p.m., she was fully in active labor.

A few people accompanied us during the labor: Hosanna's mom, her best friend Keri, and another good family friend, Nancy. In addition, there was the midwife and the doula. All in all this was a tremendous group of women, and we couldn't think of a better group to help Aria come out into the world.

Hosanna did the whole birth drug-free, and it was quite an experience. It seemed to take forever for her to dilate, so she couldn't push for the longest time - she could only breathe through the contractions. Somewhere at about 2:00 in the morning she threw up. I've never seen anyone throw up so much. The doula said "I know that wasn't very fun, but it was actually a good sign."

We had funk music playing for nearly the whole night - it was what Hosanna most wanted to hear. It seemed to take some of the load off for her to focus on the music, at least between contractions. And it gave me something to focus on as well. With so many women around, and with so much energy deservedly focused on my wife, whenever I got scared (which happened many times) there wasn't much for me to hold on to. I would look around the room, hoping to catch someone's eyes and get some kind of a look that said "don't worry, everything will be OK", but all eyes were on Hosanna. As they should have been.

At around 5:00 a.m. the midwife decided Hosanna could finally push - but after about a half an hour she saw her cervix start to swell up, and she told her she had to stop. That was probably the hardest part, because she wanted to push so badly. The midwife at this point counselled Hosanna that she should consider going to the hospital if this was getting too hard for her. Hosanna got this look of determination on her face that took me aback. "No epidural," she said to me. "No pitocin." She got up and started to walk around the room, jiggling her hips, bouncing on the yoga ball, doing everything she could think of to get the baby to drop down further.

It worked.

At about 7:00 a.m. the midwife once again examined her, and declared that the baby's head had moved further down, and she could push again. She was so tired, and in between nearly every push, she would say "I don't think I can do this. I'm so tired." But she did it.

Aria's head came out while "Velvet Pants" by the Propellerheads was playing. Usually, the midwife allows the mom to relax a bit before pushing the baby out completely. But Aria's nose and mouth were completely covered in meconium. Apparently, sometime earlier in the pregnancy she had become distressed and pooped in her amniotic fluid. The midwife and the doula were both completely shocked to see her like that, because there had been no warning at all: her vital signs had been totally normal during the whole labor, and there had never been even a trace of meconium in the amniotic fluid that came out.

What followed was a scene of urgency such as I have never before experienced. The midwife and the doula were urging Hosanna to push the baby out quickly. "Velvet Pants" segued into "Roll it Up" by the Crystal Method, and Aria practically squirted out in (I'm guessing here) less than five minutes. Hosanna was on a birthing stool, and after the midwife caught Aria, she immediately placed her on the floor in a big bundle of blankets. I remember thinking she looked rubbery. Her skin was somewhere between blue and pink, and there were meconium stains all over her face, nails, and umbilical cord. The midwife, the doula, and Hosanna all began rubbing her vigorously, talking to her, telling her that we don't spank, but she needed to cry for us. They were suctioning out her nose and mouth with a rubber ball with a point on the end. I was in total shock and could barely speak. All I could think was, when do they pick her up and hand her to Mom?

After just a minute or so, the midwife told the doula to call the paramedics. They asked a lot of questions over the phone, and our midwife was getting irritated: after a while, the answers became a form of "just send the @#$(!!#$$ ambulance!!!" Aria's skin was getting pinker, meaning she was getting enough oxygen, but she wasn't crying to the midwife's satisfaction. She could only manage little peeps, not the big scream they wanted. So when the paramedics arrived, the midwife was satisfied that Aria would survive, and told us she wanted to send her off to the hospital as a precaution.

...to be continued...

The homecoming

Aria came home with us today, and we are so happy. We thought they weren't going to release her for a couple more days, but she was doing so well that they really didn't see any reason to hold on to her any longer.

We're just feeling so blessed to have her home. We got here about 4:00 p.m., and it has just been so peaceful. No noisy hospital machines. No crowded rooms full of bustling nurses. Just Aria, me, my wife, Aria's grandma, and our cats.

We watched the A's beat the Twins while breastfeeding, changing, and burping our new daughter. Everything is different. Every day from now on is a new challenge. But at least we are where we belong now.

update

Before continuing the story, a quick update on Aria: she's not home yet, unfortunately, but is alert, eating like crazy, and off nearly all the scary wires now. The doctor thinks she'll be ready to go home Thursday, maybe Wednesday. Hosanna's been able to breast feed her a few times; the rest of the time, she pumps, and we run the breast milk over to the hospital, where they feed it to her by bottle. On a couple occasions she's gotten formula, which we're not wild about (we really wanted to breast feed her exclusively), but we understand that our whole plan of action has been totally derailed, and we're trying to roll with it as much as possible.

The birth story, part I

I went back to the hospital today to visit Aria. She looks much better, as you can see. :) They gave her a sponge bath, and were able to remove many of the scarier looking tubes and wires that had been protruding from her all over the place.

Hosanna has been resting most of the day. She's in as good of shape as can be expected. Mostly, she is very sore and tired. She slept all night, then took a long nap this morning.

So here's the story of Aria's birth, as best as I can remember it. This will have to come in a few installments, because there are a lot of people here visiting, and I can't ignore them forever.

-----

Hosanna's water broke when she was sitting at the computer typing an email to her friend Daphne, who lives in Oregon. She felt it pop, and then the water gushed out. She ran to the bathroom, grabbed a towel, stuffed it in between her legs, then ran back to the computer and "finished" her email to Daphne ("oh my god - my water just broke, bye!!!!"). Then she picked up the phone and called me at work.

Luckily, I was at my desk - not guaranteed by any means. I got my stuff together, sent a quick email to my manager, and casually mentioned to a few people around me that, by the way, I guess we're having a baby now. Just before I left, Hosanna called again. She had gotten ahold of the midwife, and she wanted to meet us at the Birth Center at 6:00. That only gave me about 35 minutes to get home - a pretty tall order during rush hour. I left my desk quickly. The last person I saw in the parking lot was my friend Kyle, who said "Hey - are those A's winning?" I said: "I don't know, but my wife's water just broke!" I don't remember what he said then, but I'm sure it was vintage supportive-and-super-excited Kyle.



I drove very slowly and carefully. I don't think I've ever driven a car so safely. It's the opposite of what most people do, I guess, but I couldn't think of any day in my life when I less wanted to be in an accident. It was in the middle of rush hour, and everything seemed to take FOREVER, but I forced myself to be patient - even as I waited through three iterations of the traffic light at Coloma & Sunrise before I finally got to turn left. That was about ten minutes right there, just waiting to get through a single traffic light.



I arrived at the house at 5:53. Hosanna had already left - I must have just missed her. So I drove on to the birth center. It's less than ten minutes from our house, so I arrived there right at 6:00. Hosanna was already in the exam room. I knocked on the door and came in. Our midwife was basically taking half a glance at Hosanna and saying "oh yes, you're in labor now" - there wasn't much to debate about it. The midwife examined her and found that she was already having mild contractions, ones that Hosanna couldn't feel yet. She told us that we could go home and wait for the contractions to get stronger. We also made an appointment for the next morning at 10:30, just in case nothing happened during the night.

...to be continued...

check her out

Aria had to go to neonatal intensive care because she got some meconium in her lungs. It's a bit of a long story which I will tell soon. But the short story is, she's healthy and will do fine, and we will bring her home in a few days.

Welcome, Aria Kathryn

born at 9:07 a.m. on Friday, September 16th.

weight: 8 lbs, 12 ounces
length: 20 inches

her water broke

at 5:15 p.m. today.

just waiting

The due date is just one week away, and we just feel like we're marking time now. Hosanna is definitely ready to get it over with. I mean, just look at her! The midwife said the baby was probably about 7 1/2 pounds two weeks ago. So what now, 8 pounds? 8.5 pounds?

Hosanna's time now is almost entirely marked by dealing with the discomfort, trying to sleep, examining her pee to see if it's actually broken water in disguise... and yes, she's still walking, although not as far or as frequently.

Emotionally, this week has been a big turnaround for both of us, though. We had a low point last week where it seemed like we just couldn't reach each other. I was increasingly anxious about everything, and she was cranky from being so big and uncomfortable.

This week, things have settled down into something a little more normal. I'm much more present now. I've been running every two or three days, which helps a lot. I really need the physical exertion to stay sharp mentally and emotionally. Otherwise it's too easy for me to fall into a funk.

Hosanna, too, has evened out a little bit. It has helped her immensely to be home from work. She's called lots of people, both friends and family, and many more people have called her as well. She's loved getting back in touch with so many people. She misses her friends at work, but is really glad to not have to concentrate on teaching for a while. It was becoming really hard for her.