I exist

Hello all. This blog is supposed to be about parenthood, but I have not given much on the topic as a Mother. Two reasons. One: I am a computer moron. Two: I am a mother, after all. Weaning your child just means that instead of having a child attached to your boob 24/7, you have a child attached to your leg 24/7. It's actually easier to get around with the boob option, believe it or not.

I want to say a few things. First, I have always wanted to be totally honest and frank about what this is really like, so I'm going to share a dark moment with you. One night about a month ago, I went to bed feeling fine. Lying there for a long time, I realized I didn't want to sleep because I didn't want the next day to start. I couldn't face the thought that I would have to wake up and start all over again with being a mother. Well, things went downhill from there. I finally started sobbing from guilt and shame because I was thinking that if something happened to me and I died, at least I could get some rest. Seriously. I knew on some level that all parents have bleak moments, but I felt that, surely, no parent would have such morbid thoughts. But they do. We all do. It's normal. And I wake up every morning to a beautiful, sweet daughter who lights up when she sees me.

It's worth it.